tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74675665853454934402024-03-05T02:16:33.663-08:00diptychedCris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-16964227774658238952011-12-27T21:11:00.000-08:002011-12-27T21:11:35.468-08:00new year's eve<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKxrkjmInjURI9hOChF4QBHQlejI0T9BD7C14xAhpgjSpfXAxAn8LhB14PC4G4wautrQTTsIxt1RU35hgyW8A88EFWwWbJUXFyAOKSY0w3kYglOPzDrnkP_IXSYxsQkTssIsQexCwqJWEQ/s1600/Firework_by_druchoy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKxrkjmInjURI9hOChF4QBHQlejI0T9BD7C14xAhpgjSpfXAxAn8LhB14PC4G4wautrQTTsIxt1RU35hgyW8A88EFWwWbJUXFyAOKSY0w3kYglOPzDrnkP_IXSYxsQkTssIsQexCwqJWEQ/s400/Firework_by_druchoy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">new year's eve you'll find me</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">a star, stringed, hanging </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">upside down</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">a firework past its prime</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">three hundred and sixty four</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">days is an eternity</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">still i stay unfound </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">despite the witty repartees </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">we've stumbled over</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">in our rush to hurry time</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">perhaps i best forget</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">the passing year</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and bring myself from sleep</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and save the pool of tears </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">threatening to spoil</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">this stale cup of coffee</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">new year's eve you'll find me</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">or maybe not</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</span></div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-39508838699951856992011-12-22T02:12:00.000-08:002011-12-22T02:15:28.587-08:00into the green<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGPmmfE_bo9izIu88bSWKLM7lGQ6loQnAyfNl7YdVL9mCWKKLLyJ395Kjd7TdZsl-11iI4kERAMvzYdlgFY5e4Jrq5nBnWertibPPLIFJfJcwbgmr2uhx32i7Z28AmqvVjPVJfP5aRkqhX/s1600/Forest+trail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGPmmfE_bo9izIu88bSWKLM7lGQ6loQnAyfNl7YdVL9mCWKKLLyJ395Kjd7TdZsl-11iI4kERAMvzYdlgFY5e4Jrq5nBnWertibPPLIFJfJcwbgmr2uhx32i7Z28AmqvVjPVJfP5aRkqhX/s400/Forest+trail.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">slithering as the sun mounting the sky</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i walk the path into the forest</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">where birds affluter hold court </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">dark then darker into the green i go</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">the forest as subtle as a moonbeam</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">at once meandering and revealed</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">lay sensuously like morning dew</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">an entire world naked as a finger</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i dream of losing my way momentarily</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">set adrift in the heady scent</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">of not remembering altogether</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">of straying and being found again</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i traipse, stumble and fall endlessly</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">until leaves and stones unravel </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">unwrapping the heart of the forest</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and i become the hunted, the forest </span></div><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-7987647873884407882011-11-13T07:31:00.000-08:002011-11-13T07:33:13.688-08:00the fruit picker<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvheVGGAru1cjD9vCwoQcF6gq2SDddYmxOeRzIZRoJv6uFRCy0FPRXwXWLGBOMnCpH-BaUEfw4i2xCgaE-3Uu4puOW1QYEIfADDYh4IzS8rMObP5LNrKiWPFFRbV6bmGFU3brCQgXtw0Sd/s1600/tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvheVGGAru1cjD9vCwoQcF6gq2SDddYmxOeRzIZRoJv6uFRCy0FPRXwXWLGBOMnCpH-BaUEfw4i2xCgaE-3Uu4puOW1QYEIfADDYh4IzS8rMObP5LNrKiWPFFRbV6bmGFU3brCQgXtw0Sd/s400/tree.jpg" width="396" /></i></span></b></a></div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>his hands itch at the sight</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>of ripeness out of reach</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>fingers curl around the </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>season and he thanks god </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>for the daily bread</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>the scent teases his tonque</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and his eyes swim in joy</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>to covet and trespass</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>are rights demanded</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>by his nature</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>he does not wait for the</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>fruit to rot and drop</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>time is not the </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>fruit picker's despite</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>his nature, he has the sun</i></span><br />
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</i></span>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-32420152048514352022011-10-30T01:34:00.000-07:002011-10-31T04:31:51.497-07:00solomon sang<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiivI8iTq38_j5CbiBnTcIhUiY_79XU3UfFOm1hIaPJwUJF4RsBmpuj7y5gSv-1WkUXMBlwcJyaWVCvU3_Kx9_h9NfQOT-isSeTZQggMC7FBeAt2hUFYJcOM24xM8vjHADtxhn_tJVjXbpD/s1600/Onexposure-1xcom-Photo-Morning-Bells-by-Thomas-Ljungberg-Photography-sun-flowers-macro-morning-nature-flower-Julz-Flowers-and-Roses-Good-Morning-Rose_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiivI8iTq38_j5CbiBnTcIhUiY_79XU3UfFOm1hIaPJwUJF4RsBmpuj7y5gSv-1WkUXMBlwcJyaWVCvU3_Kx9_h9NfQOT-isSeTZQggMC7FBeAt2hUFYJcOM24xM8vjHADtxhn_tJVjXbpD/s400/Onexposure-1xcom-Photo-Morning-Bells-by-Thomas-Ljungberg-Photography-sun-flowers-macro-morning-nature-flower-Julz-Flowers-and-Roses-Good-Morning-Rose_large.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">there i trod by the river</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">tranquil green but gold under the sun</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">seeking the one with scent of fair lily,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">eyes of dove's and hair dark as dusk</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">there i trod by the river</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">pebbles soft as kisses 'neath my feet</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">the air cooler than winter's touch yet</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">did not bring my beloved's embrace</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">there by the river i trod</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">with withering soul fragrant as spice</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">lingering, waiting for thy love beloved</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">that sprung for no reason nor prayer</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">our love is a song beloved, born by the</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">stars because you were you and i was i</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">there by the river i trod</span><br />
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</span>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-1014555622523548102011-10-18T23:40:00.000-07:002011-10-19T03:10:33.554-07:00happiness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKu87VgHkrvskQxjCW3TF7fR3JHaGvtI-MjUJE3HDeyge7gK3e5kotTx-MGK9AryOP-zUUKdu2PcKTePUFoPKFemU-JdZH2EqKYDdAO3hJbzmRURIbJpjKccjcLq0ePH7qPgRvH0mYaCr6/s1600/Presentation1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKu87VgHkrvskQxjCW3TF7fR3JHaGvtI-MjUJE3HDeyge7gK3e5kotTx-MGK9AryOP-zUUKdu2PcKTePUFoPKFemU-JdZH2EqKYDdAO3hJbzmRURIbJpjKccjcLq0ePH7qPgRvH0mYaCr6/s400/Presentation1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">where have you been,</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">happiness? under</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">my bed all these years?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">'neath leaves</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">gathered at my feet</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">in the many autumns </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i breathed? did you not,</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">pray tell, look for me?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">or my smile, or the shadow</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">of my face in the </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">dark space beyond </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">the light?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">oh happiness! oh happiness!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">why are we strangers</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">still? i searched for</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">you in poetry, in funeral</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">flowers - purple and white -</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">while by the rocky shore</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">on slow-fading nights</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">perhaps i'm too glum even</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">tragic despite the light</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">in my eyes and the laughter</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">that comes easy as day</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">but still i'll hunt you down</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">conquer and devour your</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">liquid warmth until</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i cry out all the salty,</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">gray, musty sad in me</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">are you happy now?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-58736986426552673802011-09-30T04:50:00.000-07:002011-09-30T04:52:06.659-07:00all is fair<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-sSLTzCzdcIiIupzWG1OklIurqx9_t41O9To9yeufC158H7uT0iakj_6O5IENO3oLw_S2NPrO9tAjfHeLReRRnWLc0wRGa702bxEE0BHrvvIbc5Bfp1E3q4wj_kPHA11O8RwD-MBmNAr4/s1600/Presentation1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-sSLTzCzdcIiIupzWG1OklIurqx9_t41O9To9yeufC158H7uT0iakj_6O5IENO3oLw_S2NPrO9tAjfHeLReRRnWLc0wRGa702bxEE0BHrvvIbc5Bfp1E3q4wj_kPHA11O8RwD-MBmNAr4/s400/Presentation1.jpg" width="306" /></a></div><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">dead words substitute </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">for the pain that would not come</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and you sit silently, a</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">limb, a star abandoned by air</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">a flower droops in the</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">shadow mourning the passing of</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">an unripened heart and</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">you strum your hair guiltlessly</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">winter is outside the</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">window, white is the color of</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">gloom, you pull down</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">the curtain as i lick my wounds</span></div><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">/</span></div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-20690544070817150922011-09-20T15:58:00.000-07:002011-09-23T23:15:09.445-07:00to the star of a million nights ago<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIn3YNeza9d3jVoQTB-1ujSKdnXyy_VkkKBCmVKDB7zp0N7SDhViNy_B5S975jGGelRuKVueoH-KvYlLcHom53DpE1biuLdkxkHkxMOodLUbz2lsJx1NpmqH5Z3kTd8iceAB__Z_GJ-uLb/s1600/2197272.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
<img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIn3YNeza9d3jVoQTB-1ujSKdnXyy_VkkKBCmVKDB7zp0N7SDhViNy_B5S975jGGelRuKVueoH-KvYlLcHom53DpE1biuLdkxkHkxMOodLUbz2lsJx1NpmqH5Z3kTd8iceAB__Z_GJ-uLb/s400/2197272.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>i shall wait for you fervently</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>when you cross the landscape</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>i roam </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>when you tread as before, like a </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>shepherded lamb on its way</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>home</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>things are no different from</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>what were before, and this i</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>say</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>i shall love you no less, not an</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>ounce, not a breath, not a</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>day</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>my reveries will be of you and</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>my name, my hours are yours to</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>keep</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>my secrets to your ears shall be</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>brought and never again to my</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>sleep</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>i will see your face in the rain, in</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>the dawn and in all the smiles that</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>stray</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and in the end, when death to my</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>door knocks, your music they will</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>play</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>forgive me these silly confessions, </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>these little vows, the repetitions i</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>speak</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>the star from a million nights ago</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and burning brightly still...you i</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>seek</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>your naissance is my rebirth</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-69639481627611611892011-09-09T16:59:00.000-07:002011-09-09T16:59:46.740-07:00psalm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-1kLaG12JMQXPLUNKSIsZ_jdZB8mNUyHyYWJsvhZgZrSnNF84ZNarGd4t_xShyRZ8TjvFaITH6UV2XewH6TL3umDiNvXvA3-h9mrZal1ZukAzcGzwvxbiBux8MmXHt3p5hgcfPKeD0VU2/s1600/Calm_Waters_of_Britannia_Bay_by_AmirNasher.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-1kLaG12JMQXPLUNKSIsZ_jdZB8mNUyHyYWJsvhZgZrSnNF84ZNarGd4t_xShyRZ8TjvFaITH6UV2XewH6TL3umDiNvXvA3-h9mrZal1ZukAzcGzwvxbiBux8MmXHt3p5hgcfPKeD0VU2/s400/Calm_Waters_of_Britannia_Bay_by_AmirNasher.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>strum the lyre of silver</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and gold with fingers </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>tender as the morning</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>spreading, opening</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>sing the song springing</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>like a rose, soft but </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>quietly fervent like an</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>eternity of dawns</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>the wind shall carry your</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>voice, a prayer in flight,</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>as you become the water</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>becoming the song you</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>sing</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
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</div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-30122210142264336912011-08-29T03:24:00.000-07:002011-08-29T03:24:06.218-07:00what's the hurry?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>"Scientific measurements indicate that we are moving even when we are standing still. Continental land masses sit on enormous slabs of rock that slide very slowly at the rate of l to 8 inches per year. America is gradually moving westward, away from Europe, at the rate of 3 inches per year. If that doesn't blow your hair back, consider this. Our Milky Way galaxy is hurtling through space at 375 miles per second or l.3 million miles per hour. But that's not all. Within our own galaxy the sun and its solar system are zooming along at 12.4 miles per second (43,000 mph) in the direction of the star Vega in the constellation Lyra."</i></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>- Mart De Haan</i></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv6XtNhvyAwb2gZUSzG05GLMJBqKkNHYnW0ewM8ce00UxRLYRwrHHppS-WOZ_sSYyF1806ZiYwSfoevSuckgC0NldQtxZG9tNTiuPmmrzSjWj2QXR7R2gri6INTX8bOO2RhfUTKuhrGmfO/s1600/img_4837.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv6XtNhvyAwb2gZUSzG05GLMJBqKkNHYnW0ewM8ce00UxRLYRwrHHppS-WOZ_sSYyF1806ZiYwSfoevSuckgC0NldQtxZG9tNTiuPmmrzSjWj2QXR7R2gri6INTX8bOO2RhfUTKuhrGmfO/s400/img_4837.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;"><i><br />
</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 16px;">so it makes sense if you go to that quiet place that only you know</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">unfold your arms </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">or even lie down</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">unthink </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">unclutter</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">stop moving for a change </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">everything around you is in perpetual motion</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 16px;">catching your breath is not going against time</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">it's finding yourself in the frenzy</span></span><br />
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</span></span>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-15905274031054020582011-08-25T01:14:00.000-07:002011-08-25T01:14:33.980-07:00dirty dancing with the telly: growing up in the 80s<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia8VT-iBvH7ufe1tUBnEIlRUv-S-ghgfF5eCEzAq3FuSqvuJaGy_jaiSMFD0ti680KuzCnwZCSFthhy7vvnWH7ca3XzZK7JPW7XTErI4lu1QyEloxY12lEqT-5Lf-XBg3Ot4p3tGD2uZgz/s1600/1981-Zenith-TV.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia8VT-iBvH7ufe1tUBnEIlRUv-S-ghgfF5eCEzAq3FuSqvuJaGy_jaiSMFD0ti680KuzCnwZCSFthhy7vvnWH7ca3XzZK7JPW7XTErI4lu1QyEloxY12lEqT-5Lf-XBg3Ot4p3tGD2uZgz/s400/1981-Zenith-TV.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I've had the time of my life in the 80s. If Baby, in <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atx5IN4ft2A"><i>"Dirty Dancing"</i>,</a> wholly had hers in the summer of 1963 in a resort/camp somewhere in the Catskills, I can say, in retrospect, that I experienced mine in bits and pieces, here and there, spread over half a decade (the latter half) where every year was a coming-of-age moment. I was in my teens, pimply, awkward and was always waking up to each day on the verge of rebellion if not just unknowingly feeling a little more curious than the day before. My adventures then were defined by my guts to actually satisfy my thirst for new things. New things like conquering butterflies fluttering in my stomach when I'm about to cut class to go and see an R-rated movie, or ignoring the voice of reason I kept hearing (they sounded like my parents') when it's my turn to puff (it eventually took me a short time to drag with A-ttitude) a stick of Marlboro that a classmate snuck out of his father's pack before going to school. Ah, the thrill and the shock of the new when you're young! But to sum up my teenage life as full of drama like any wannabe juvenile delinquent's is incomplete. Dramatic (very Catcher in the Rye-ish) yes, but incomplete. For there were long, stoic, non-tear-inducing hours spent watching TV. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I remember being enraptured by music set to motion, it was called music video. And in <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76jo6XKdh1I&feature=related">MTV</a> kingdom Madonna was the queen, Duran Duran were the kings and Michael Jackson was both. Rick Astley introduced me to the wonders of hairspray and made me realize that you can make people dance with the kind of voice that you have when you wake up in the morning, may you be male or female. And speaking of dance music, there were generally two types. First is the dance music that local record companies' resident dancers promoted on TV. If a song clicked, they'd come up with a dance contest in <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEcejlDw7Ww">"Eat Bulaga"</a> </i>or <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQMS58cWRx8"><i>"Student Canteen"</i></a> or <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyTv71GWrZo"><i>"LunchDate.</i>"</a> If that song became big, you'd see actors dancing to them to promote their movies. If it got even bigger, you'd see the works in dream sequences in movies starring the Regal babies. Then there was what they called New Wave. New Wave music may not be as popular as its choreography-heavy counterpart as it only called for upward or downward flailing of the arms, but it's big in prom nights, school programs and with my gang-loving punk-y friends whose motto in life was "the future looks bright, I gotta wear shades (and lots of hairgel)"! But if one was not so into dance music, there were options. He/she may try singing along Whitney Houston's <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nqVWm2XTjY&feature=fvst">"All at Once"</a> </i>down to that last lung-busting note or form a trio with Pops and Martin during <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oe3gehN2Wg"><i>"Penthouse Live"</i></a> nights (usually after Dona Buding's segment and before The Tigers' number). Or if he/she could afford it, a Minus-One would salve that itch to perform - turn on that "component", place the "cassette tape" and presto! But if you're the the nonperforming type, you can kill time deciding who between Debbie Gibson and Tiffany floats your boat more - do you go for bangs, or you want dem hair big? Do you take to pitch-clean, squeaky pipes or you much prefer the husky, I'm-the-new-Bonnie-Tyler sound? A very passive mental activity indeed but potentially hazardous to friendships when the decision is made known. I mean, ties that bound Aquanet-happy cliques are known to have been severed by a member's overt partiality to either New Kids on the Block or the New Edition. But TV offered me more than music that made me move and the opportunity to hone my juvenile decision-making skills. It offered me laughter and tons of it! Who can forget "Three's Company," "The Cosby Show," "Punky Brewster," "The Golden Girls," "Family Ties," "The Benny Hill Show" and the local gag shows "Champoy," "Todas" and "Going Bananas"? And I first met Bart Simpson in '88! I might have not grown much, but the runt hasn't aged at all! If laughter is the best medicine, then nobody must have gotten sick during the 80s because sitcoms and gag shows far outnumbered the dramatic TV fares. Well at least in our household! But that's not to say that the dramas unfolding on TV were less dynamic. In fact, the imported drama programs showcased bitches bitching around and more bitches bitching around - "Falcon Crest" "Knott's Landing" "Dynasty" and "Cagney & Lacey" (they were bitches, weren't they?) to name a few. And of course, there were TV programs too that starkly played out the joys and pains of being an unadult - I learned that intelligence should be directly proportional to bodysize in "Doogie Howser, M.D." (had his body been beefier, he could've handled teenage life as a genius angst-free), there was Fred Savage essaying what might have been every Juan s childhood in the "The Wonder Years," and of course, the triumphs and the production numbers of the multitude of hormonally-charged teenagers in <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_axvqOaQp8">"That's Entertainment"</a>. </i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I could go on and on waxing nostalgic about the many delights that TV accorded me during the 80s but I think I've said enough. Besides, it's a long way back! But this had to be said again, I really had the time of my life in the 80s...as a teenage couch potato!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>(press pause the mixpod player below to watch this video)</i></span><br />
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Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-87424502424858440112011-08-22T19:15:00.000-07:002011-08-22T19:15:19.252-07:00on the seventh day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKg5J2FINOdYz3J74tBv-2bEdjHSTbuyJNKPMIHbIU20aFNNcKRKmrj0kID-qHGWFNkx-zzpp0mB4w24vdMks6IfeYenHJC1n8Qi8XeJdjne2Q7eNzvMaB7xVUyaZ5DFgprTVGCTreX5QH/s1600/1st.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKg5J2FINOdYz3J74tBv-2bEdjHSTbuyJNKPMIHbIU20aFNNcKRKmrj0kID-qHGWFNkx-zzpp0mB4w24vdMks6IfeYenHJC1n8Qi8XeJdjne2Q7eNzvMaB7xVUyaZ5DFgprTVGCTreX5QH/s400/1st.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> on the first day</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE-uPqcmwpFWgHB77-lVfuIX8E6wWk6taE1F_RU87AK-LIEnubtVCesUbRVMloQPHP9T4aFLzHoBG0vq0rcAUDzXatKE95s2oghqSI_spH5MH78Oo4qAIBvsqub6onXLeZRuRkJT_lyoL5/s1600/4th.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE-uPqcmwpFWgHB77-lVfuIX8E6wWk6taE1F_RU87AK-LIEnubtVCesUbRVMloQPHP9T4aFLzHoBG0vq0rcAUDzXatKE95s2oghqSI_spH5MH78Oo4qAIBvsqub6onXLeZRuRkJT_lyoL5/s400/4th.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">on the fourth day</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn2lK8pUHojXdLZYtHFusp5N4kv0nMxZla3f-J4gwLx_LcTLjpZbsVTI3KJDyEPhccaMpod_XtMqcYM2Zjpe1LgfbFm3BgiFZFvjwnK0I6moiubuGl2F5QAsRYfrAaN2ueK4-_49uNL5Z2/s1600/5th.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn2lK8pUHojXdLZYtHFusp5N4kv0nMxZla3f-J4gwLx_LcTLjpZbsVTI3KJDyEPhccaMpod_XtMqcYM2Zjpe1LgfbFm3BgiFZFvjwnK0I6moiubuGl2F5QAsRYfrAaN2ueK4-_49uNL5Z2/s400/5th.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">on the fifth day</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZBctbQKCSZ8ralwc_H4nbanfZFZOWuXOHdx67O5T0Dmx6rqDY45XKu0gnQoXpmWuS-Xl0dXogE0V1x-W2SkvSO51b609CUCJU-2DtUJdmnMhi4Uqlj3nYf_GnS4N50fViFtMcDhDy8aE2/s1600/6th.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZBctbQKCSZ8ralwc_H4nbanfZFZOWuXOHdx67O5T0Dmx6rqDY45XKu0gnQoXpmWuS-Xl0dXogE0V1x-W2SkvSO51b609CUCJU-2DtUJdmnMhi4Uqlj3nYf_GnS4N50fViFtMcDhDy8aE2/s400/6th.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">on the sixth day</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">on the seventh day</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">my heart sang</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">my soul lifted</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">for there </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">fragile in the ruins </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">of what had come to pass </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">before my thoughtless eyes</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">a flower </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">white amidst the dark</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">hope sprung in the decay</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">on the seventh hour</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">of this the seventh day</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i find respite</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">in the quiet arms</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">of your light</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">peace at last</span></div><br />
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Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-45144747779253904182011-08-01T20:46:00.000-07:002011-08-02T05:27:46.391-07:00seven meters of misery<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXNA4JjdbGvRDBsYRQibnuUWJhVPu4klmHosY4P4O4DY34mwNFdxJXHPe-k37WEamJHK3Ip0shJS3AtfS2ipwuPx9ZT_00I6CcPnlNnvdrTpF_bvA1B1GBk0F7bJ_3Ee1EDxO0qeNH8-Nz/s1600/flood.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXNA4JjdbGvRDBsYRQibnuUWJhVPu4klmHosY4P4O4DY34mwNFdxJXHPe-k37WEamJHK3Ip0shJS3AtfS2ipwuPx9ZT_00I6CcPnlNnvdrTpF_bvA1B1GBk0F7bJ_3Ee1EDxO0qeNH8-Nz/s400/flood.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>storm a-brewing</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I heard about the typhoon Ondoy (Ketsana) heading over to the Metro while in a cab, on my way to meeting a friend in Malate, a popular melting pot for creatures wanting to celebrate the end of the workweek. Naturally enough, the driver incessantly talked about the impending storm as he listened to news broadcasts over the radio - like how scattered rainshowers all throughout the day had already slowed down traffic everywhere, and that he had been picky with passengers - while I thought of cancelling the nightout as outside was hardly the perfect condition for wining and dining and wining. Though we didn't have a hard time getting to our destination, I still gave the driver extra knowing full well that all his whining and griping were meant to make me grateful for his saying "yes" to me in the first place.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was craving for grease on my lips and so my friend and I found ourselves in TGIF. Besides, it was a Friday. What's a little pun? The smoking area opens to the streets and so the talk between my friend and I, after all the grub was consumed, gravitated towards people scampering in the rain amidst the absence of public transport. The rains were not torrential, not even heavy but enough to drench your killer attire and douse any hardened party animal's spirit. We then decided to head on over to Starbucks which was teeming with what appeared to be stranded commuters waiting for some letup in the dismaying weather. But the weather was in no mood to be unpredictable that night as rains continuously and consistently poured in varying degrees of patter. After a satisfying <i>grande</i> of soy latte and lots of pleasant tête-à -tête, we made our way to the heart of the district hopeful that, finally, we'd have ourselves some action which was still the object of our quest despite the soggy state of affairs everywhere we look and turn.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Minutes after settling down on the porch of a speakeasy, the rains began to pour. Seriously this time. While my friend had <i>mojitos</i>, I decided it was not the ideal ambiance for alcohol and would call it a night as soon as the rains slightly abated. We parted ways, uh, four hours later.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I trudged into my room at around 6am. It was already Saturday, the 26th of September, and everything's humdrum in our household. Yes, it was supposedly a stormy day but we have witnessed more swashbuckling winds and menacing rains before. I turned on my PC, checked my mails and logged on to HubPages. I was nearing 100,000 views and realized my first birthday on the site was also just a couple of breaths away. I was putting together a memoir-ish kind of hub in my head to celebrate my would-be milestones. A killer hub (blog) was on the way. Thinking about it now, I am sure I slept with a smile plastered on my face. How could I not when it was a wonderful weather for sleep and dreaming? But the weather went back to its business of being fickle while I dozed off, and apparently it had other things in mind.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlrMtep4A6TzGOoCnPWOK3n50joWlkScywlPk_5KXcusQkjiVlMxwULjnSpZJxtIcoRgWa46yFEcwJfYPD-e9o8c5GUCt-_pdlCT1MH8eUxgW3c06e07ME8BOavo3FYbTjyB5oouk_5nW/s1600/1933683_f120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlrMtep4A6TzGOoCnPWOK3n50joWlkScywlPk_5KXcusQkjiVlMxwULjnSpZJxtIcoRgWa46yFEcwJfYPD-e9o8c5GUCt-_pdlCT1MH8eUxgW3c06e07ME8BOavo3FYbTjyB5oouk_5nW/s1600/1933683_f120.jpg" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; font-size: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>my darkest hour</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i><br />
</i></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I initially thought I was only on my 36th wink when my sister pulled me back from <i>lalaland</i>. I looked at my watch. I had slept for four hours and thought it's probably lunch time and everybody was waiting for me downstairs (weekends are when everybody's home). It was indeed lunch time but my sister was on another mission. Apparently, water from the river had breached our street and she told me to start moving things from downstairs to the second floor. I looked out my window and saw several people, probably neighbors, in panic mode, wading in knee-deep flood water. Now we are no neophytes as far as floods are concerned. Over the years, we've plowed through various depths and were in fact not traumatized by the six-footer monster that came our way more than a decade ago. You can say we went all through <i>dem</i> storms and floods swimmingly. So, unlike the panic button-hitting people around us, we were calm but still calculating. Alert but not panicky. Everything we did was deliberate. Unfortunately, we so busied ourselves determining which things were amphibious enough to survive being submerged in water that we somehow forgot to throw a sneaky eye on the dark waters outside.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Faster that we can say "one, two, three LIFT" or "one, two, three PULL", flood water touched base. It was suddenly calf-deep in our house and waist-deep outside. The first few neighbors arrived to take refuge in the second floor of our house. As was customary (like I said, it was not going to be <i>our first flood</i>), we let them in and up with everything they managed to bring with them from their houses. We were nearly done putting nonsubmersibles atop tables, cabinets and beds when the second wave of neighbors turned up with accounts of the watery hell that's still gathering might by the minute just outside our door. That's when my family unknowingly lost grasp of our collective scout mentality. We panicked.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Hours that seemed like seconds passed and I was in the company of a woman who had just given birth to the baby she was nursing and three other families. We were on the second floor of our house, on the terrace, helpless spectators all of the hissing, gurgling, swirling and rising murky brown water. The children were crying and the adults were either praying or reassuring the children and themselves that, surely, the water will rise not higher than a full grown man. .My niece, who is in her early teens and therefore was not even a speck of thought when we battled with the six-footer monster previously, broke down when she saw the wall in our backyard topple over. She became hysterical and carried on convincing my sister, her mother, to brave the already chest-deep water and seek higher ground elsewhere. My sister relented like all mothers would in front of their weeping child no matter how irrational the child's request was. With only their safety on her mind, she, along with my brother-in-law, took off with her brood despite our pleas for them to stay put. I saw them being slapped by the current-driven water as they made their way through it. I was on the terrace witnessing the whole thing with a blank mind until thoughts of death crossed my mind. And it stayed there for a long visit.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My sister and her family had no choice but to return to our house. They were assisted by a stranger who submitted himself into a random act of kindness and daring. The flood continued escalating as the water unremittingly engaged in finishing off the last vestiges of hope we had remaining. When the water started devouring the space below the roof of our neighbor's bungalow house from across the street, we thought of fleeing. First, we tried to destroy the windows at the back of the house so we could climb to the roof. But the windows remained unresponsive. Then, deliverance came in the form of our next door neighbor's pink house which has three floors. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Blankets were gathered and tied together to form lifelines from our terrace to theirs. With the ends of the blankets secured on the railings of both terraces, and with the assistance of our neighbor's helper, we made the precarious tightrope act one by one. And the first to go was my 79-year old mother who said later that she had to go first to show my hesitant and by then less hysterical niece that if her grandmother can do it, she certainly can.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">While I was waiting for my turn to get to the other side, I went back to my room and decided to let go. To let go of every possession that my room held and not anymore push, pull, lift, cover things to save them from drowning. My dog Coco had to be left behind too, on the terrace, as I gathered no dogs were brought by the other evacuees to our neighbor's place and I am nobody special. If there's one thing about tragedies on a massive scale is that everybody's equal in its eyes. It's like God in a way. And like any defeated man, I can only be fatalistic.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Our neighbor's roof deck has only two rooms and the rest is open space. Naturally, the rooms were reserved for the children and older women. The rest had to either take shelter under a makeshift roof or stay out in the rain. I stayed out in the rain with my mind going back and forth to some spam email I read heralding the end of the world. That, or eyeing the tree fronting our house. It was to be my Plan C. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlrMtep4A6TzGOoCnPWOK3n50joWlkScywlPk_5KXcusQkjiVlMxwULjnSpZJxtIcoRgWa46yFEcwJfYPD-e9o8c5GUCt-_pdlCT1MH8eUxgW3c06e07ME8BOavo3FYbTjyB5oouk_5nW/s1600/1933683_f120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlrMtep4A6TzGOoCnPWOK3n50joWlkScywlPk_5KXcusQkjiVlMxwULjnSpZJxtIcoRgWa46yFEcwJfYPD-e9o8c5GUCt-_pdlCT1MH8eUxgW3c06e07ME8BOavo3FYbTjyB5oouk_5nW/s1600/1933683_f120.jpg" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In the gloaming, only a quarter of our our house is remaining. Our terrace is gone.. Where is Coco? People are on their roofs. Houses are carried away by the river behind me, with some bearing people on the roofs heading to God knows where. I see the tree in front of our house standing its ground. Gone are the birds. But still, it's the objective of what is going to be my last ditch effort at salvation. My sister gives me half of her biscuit.</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">People come up to me, in my place above a chicken coop, and start conversations. I do not know them personally but some I recognize the face. I assume they live in the shanties in the periphery, on the edge of the street, behind the walls of well-built houses, by the riverbank. I think of a social equality advocate and blogger friend . I must tell her that my empathy for those who have less materially, I realize, is built on romance. Their open faces, optimism in the face of tragedy, and sense of community are humbling. I will admit to her that most of the time, when it comes to issues close to her, my heart is not where my mouth is.</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I become nostalgic whenever children are allowed by their parents to play with flashlights for I remember the time, thousands of years ago it seems, that it fascinated me, too. Pointing in every dark place and hoping to behold a thing of wonder or fright. I wish I was a child...no worries, no nostalgia for things gone, going and will be gone.</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Darkness falls at last. I can no longer make out things from the silhouettes they form. But in my mind, I can see the familiar objects that the water and darkness conceal. I close my eyes. I am pretending to be asleep and hoping that my tears are mistaken for droplets of rain. </span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlrMtep4A6TzGOoCnPWOK3n50joWlkScywlPk_5KXcusQkjiVlMxwULjnSpZJxtIcoRgWa46yFEcwJfYPD-e9o8c5GUCt-_pdlCT1MH8eUxgW3c06e07ME8BOavo3FYbTjyB5oouk_5nW/s1600/1933683_f120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlrMtep4A6TzGOoCnPWOK3n50joWlkScywlPk_5KXcusQkjiVlMxwULjnSpZJxtIcoRgWa46yFEcwJfYPD-e9o8c5GUCt-_pdlCT1MH8eUxgW3c06e07ME8BOavo3FYbTjyB5oouk_5nW/s1600/1933683_f120.jpg" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">the requiem</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Knee-deep mud confronted us outside when most of the water subsided. Dawn was breaking and flood-swept objects abounded. The air was heavy with stench that's almost palpable you can part it with your hands. We made it back to our house after I scrambled up our terrace, down the stairs and pushed the bar and high chairs that rammed into each other and somehow settled behind the door that made it impossible to open it from the outside. W</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">ith my back against the wall, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I felt something snap in my back as I pushed against the furniture using my feet. Once we were all inside, an eerie silence fell and muffled the sound of children's voices outside who were poking at things wishing they were somebody's toys. I slipped into my room and surveyed what was left. Nothing was spared. I just sat there for a long time, only coming to when a little girl shrieked upon realizing that what she thought was a stuffed toy was actually a dead dog. So we all survived the flood. Even our dog Coco did. Apparently, she managed to get inside our house, into my sister's room and found Noah's ark in the form of a bed. The cushion might have floated in the water I suppose.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We had no electricity. The phone line was (still is) dead. Water from the tap was brown. Everything was wet or muddied or both. There was no place to lie down. No food to eat. No nothing. Only time and more time to wallow in misery. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The days that followed the fateful night were spent cleaning, discarding things, eating instant noodles and sardines from reliefs, and going to stores looking for batteries, candles, and rainboots. Unfortunately, most stores remained closed for a long time. Nighttime was a depressing affair as smell of decay was stronger and no activity was possible. I spent those moments building a new house in my mind. Or realizing the true value of things that I no longer have - photographs, letters, books, underwear. </span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlrMtep4A6TzGOoCnPWOK3n50joWlkScywlPk_5KXcusQkjiVlMxwULjnSpZJxtIcoRgWa46yFEcwJfYPD-e9o8c5GUCt-_pdlCT1MH8eUxgW3c06e07ME8BOavo3FYbTjyB5oouk_5nW/s1600/1933683_f120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlrMtep4A6TzGOoCnPWOK3n50joWlkScywlPk_5KXcusQkjiVlMxwULjnSpZJxtIcoRgWa46yFEcwJfYPD-e9o8c5GUCt-_pdlCT1MH8eUxgW3c06e07ME8BOavo3FYbTjyB5oouk_5nW/s1600/1933683_f120.jpg" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">because things could still get worse...</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...they did. A week after the flood, I lost my dog. Since Coco's cage in the backyard was no more, I put her on a leash and made her a makeshift shelter beside our house. I cannot let her inside the house as endless cleaning was underway and my mother could not stand her labrador "stink". The day before we discovered her gone, I was even happy to notice an improvement in her appetite as she was mostly glum in the days immediately after the flood. All that were left were her leash and trails of paw prints. The first trail led to where her shattered cage and the other disappeared into the open space that came to be when the backyard wall collapsed. She was almost 2 years old. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Last Sunday, the 11th of October, my sister was rushed to a hospital. In another city. All the hospitals in our city were full and patients had to wait in line. She had been complaining of body aches and recurrent fever and was suddenly looking pasty. I was told later that she had contracted leptospirosis. And as if fate and time conspired to guide me to a nervous breakdown, I heard the bad news as I was witnessing a group of men killing a dog in the vacant lot across the street while a number of nuns were distributing food and clothes to shirtless children and their barefoot mothers nearby. At that point, death crossed my mind again. Coco's, probably by that same group of men, my sister's, by the disease, and mine, in the shape of my own hands. I have no idea what could have happened to me had I not called a close friend and broke down and let it all out. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuLwgTeZe-ZvjidL4h-OHkk6G27ljeYCXE8YUsgohv3HhNsQjW2zWemVDgQUN2NQ-9rkQNuEyJzi08sGFCXQ3x_Ex7fWjHBjrgNnc9C9pmux2xi_Naehe4oq-SUUnfoIDEQPc8WJayLV9D/s1600/1936307_f520.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuLwgTeZe-ZvjidL4h-OHkk6G27ljeYCXE8YUsgohv3HhNsQjW2zWemVDgQUN2NQ-9rkQNuEyJzi08sGFCXQ3x_Ex7fWjHBjrgNnc9C9pmux2xi_Naehe4oq-SUUnfoIDEQPc8WJayLV9D/s400/1936307_f520.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW2lr3HJLSIyMUJ7hLYK0S03KCxRf8CHOAxnpmj3-cEGjjuF6DOV68jNiSR6luSThYlgFGvb7FBTqoxtF69RdGxdF0AMzo-9G3qMwbczpVv7xdTPzi978CGruFELWN4kQF2iE2rRd9M0GX/s1600/1936312_f520.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW2lr3HJLSIyMUJ7hLYK0S03KCxRf8CHOAxnpmj3-cEGjjuF6DOV68jNiSR6luSThYlgFGvb7FBTqoxtF69RdGxdF0AMzo-9G3qMwbczpVv7xdTPzi978CGruFELWN4kQF2iE2rRd9M0GX/s400/1936312_f520.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> <i>the view from our terrace</i></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJIfI3dZjnuAJntNPfW4f8oF2nhuPbHZqy4WzLvFF4ur11sOL5XwgWk9oj6EkwbLuW4IS69mNculAQcA_agUMi_i7uRiXsrLTfN0s1LAGpMoRvzRt2Rwseo2JKUnBtSG7vvHr26yQZAPOr/s1600/1936325_f520.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJIfI3dZjnuAJntNPfW4f8oF2nhuPbHZqy4WzLvFF4ur11sOL5XwgWk9oj6EkwbLuW4IS69mNculAQcA_agUMi_i7uRiXsrLTfN0s1LAGpMoRvzRt2Rwseo2JKUnBtSG7vvHr26yQZAPOr/s400/1936325_f520.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> <i>and still from the terrace</i></span> </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWwiVCR3zahQP6uGMlJcfBm9Z_m48KDRTmuAq3_GXsnws_VQJPRhyphenhyphen9gdk_LfkLDp-ypHWeXhO-dE2hQMlBFeM3-TGz-V4jcZ4CMzLAWfb7kd7HyD28_F56mE_T4qpxvEkmf_mwLQZeUuWh/s1600/1936334_f520.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWwiVCR3zahQP6uGMlJcfBm9Z_m48KDRTmuAq3_GXsnws_VQJPRhyphenhyphen9gdk_LfkLDp-ypHWeXhO-dE2hQMlBFeM3-TGz-V4jcZ4CMzLAWfb7kd7HyD28_F56mE_T4qpxvEkmf_mwLQZeUuWh/s400/1936334_f520.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> <i>our ceiling had to be taken down to rid of the mud it housed</i></span></span><br />
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<span class="msoIns"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">the street where I live, our house is on the right</span></i></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;">Three weeks had passed but not much have changed. Yes, I have clean clothes, I can go online (thanks to my sister who lends me her laptop once in a while), there's electricity and my other sister had been discharged from the hospital. The house is still a skeleton of what it was before and the mounds of garbage and filth right outside our door still remind me of what we had lost. Looking back, I'm certain I was contented with my life then and not in want of greater things. But how do you begin again when you don't even have the simple things?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlrMtep4A6TzGOoCnPWOK3n50joWlkScywlPk_5KXcusQkjiVlMxwULjnSpZJxtIcoRgWa46yFEcwJfYPD-e9o8c5GUCt-_pdlCT1MH8eUxgW3c06e07ME8BOavo3FYbTjyB5oouk_5nW/s1600/1933683_f120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlrMtep4A6TzGOoCnPWOK3n50joWlkScywlPk_5KXcusQkjiVlMxwULjnSpZJxtIcoRgWa46yFEcwJfYPD-e9o8c5GUCt-_pdlCT1MH8eUxgW3c06e07ME8BOavo3FYbTjyB5oouk_5nW/s1600/1933683_f120.jpg" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;"></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><strong style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">thank you for being a friend</span></strong></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You know who you are, my "virtual" and "real-life" friends. Your support, concern and bits of counseling made it possible for me to soldier on and find the will to write this. I have no desire to go back to that night and relive everything but I realized that ghosts would not be as they are if they had a place to go.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Again, my eternal gratitude to you all. Your names shall remain imprinted in my heart.</span><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCL4Lmhiy8xeCig7W6hyphenhyphenTwFXMp5O5lbpuu87Y7n5x0RGSuy33yT0-Bi2MCyf0xAAUOeHH-o3iu8D25AJA9TBgCEwrgGHreerUZBfswjMeGBf6qq7Hu3jo-5fFLC4VgRJ8nYX2JpggIrJX0/s1600/1936537_f120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCL4Lmhiy8xeCig7W6hyphenhyphenTwFXMp5O5lbpuu87Y7n5x0RGSuy33yT0-Bi2MCyf0xAAUOeHH-o3iu8D25AJA9TBgCEwrgGHreerUZBfswjMeGBf6qq7Hu3jo-5fFLC4VgRJ8nYX2JpggIrJX0/s1600/1936537_f120.jpg" /></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;"><strong style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">and by the way...</strong></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;">As I was writing this, I heard on the news that a new storm has entered the Philippine area of responsibility and that it could become a "super typhoon". Moreover, the typhoon's (Ramil) international name is <em style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Lupit</em> which, in Filipino, literally translates to "ruthlessness". All I can say about it is that I just did high water, I could probably take on hell itself.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;"></span><br />
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</span></span></div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-77787707692319679722011-07-30T00:45:00.000-07:002011-07-30T00:45:54.602-07:00becoming greta<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1CDvtWVdx6NWqUtrhD4vvaRk8BLBkFU0lrRhsyoMPqcNyLz5tJkwA4H355RnePNbXzaJeDNL5gUfbTCWp-cV0LuNUrkoXL05x_KkkX0sMMJ-dNNlIzK2JCkOoOL_FEQjjFVwnZS0C3-_v/s1600/greta-garbo-narbild1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1CDvtWVdx6NWqUtrhD4vvaRk8BLBkFU0lrRhsyoMPqcNyLz5tJkwA4H355RnePNbXzaJeDNL5gUfbTCWp-cV0LuNUrkoXL05x_KkkX0sMMJ-dNNlIzK2JCkOoOL_FEQjjFVwnZS0C3-_v/s400/greta-garbo-narbild1.jpg" width="358" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In the last 25 years of Greta's life, she has never woken up the way she did today. No death, no love nor a great read happened the night before, but there's something different in the way she responded to the air around her. She did not respond at all. She let it weigh her down, deeper into the bed. The grey beddings provided her warmth despite its color. So unlike her shiny happy friends who drop their eyes or look the other way when she tells them of made-up troubles just so she won't forget her voice.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">She laid inert for a long time longer with her eyes fixed on a spot on the ceiling. She turned off her bedside lamp, fringed and the kind that would find home in a sepia photograph, without taking her eyes off of the woman's face, no, an old house. The dark spot kept on changing its shape, shifting with the passing of each thought that crossed her mind.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It was almost a year ago when she finally said goodbye to the company she had given the best 15 years of her life. Nobody saw it coming, not even herself. She didn't even bother coming up with reasons why she was leaving. Actually she had none. What she had was the realization that midway through any given workday in her last month in (what she called) Alcatraz, she constantly prayed for time to go about its business killing itself so she could scurry back home and start on a watercolor (maybe a field of tulips) or do netflix and have pizza delivered. And so on her last day, everything happened like clockwork - she handed in her letter, surrendered her ID and other office-owned stuffed including the coffee mug emblazoned with the company logo - the sight of which seemed to have validated, sealed and delivered her decision. She rushed out of the building, her legs feeling light despite her age and she walked on a sunshine as a smile crept on her face - a genuine, almost forgotten smile that had been failing her even at alcohohol-fueled Friday night outs. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Days became weeks and weeks became months but she hardly noticed. She was either busy rearranging the furniture - moving them this way and that until she was shown the meaning comfort - or having one of those lingering baths in flower petals, surrounded by divinely scented candles. Everything fell into a relaxed state. So easy went everything that she no longer felt compelled to return the calls of curious friends or family until the world outside her world eventually tired of asking about her and went on its business without her. She suddenly had all the time but none to give. She had been erased while bits of her pieced themselves together like turtles to a rising new moon.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The broken vase slowly dissolved and was replaced by what it really is, a watermark. "I need to have my ceiling repainted and my walls, too" she said rather absentmindedly loud. Her own voice no longer surprises her.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I can hear <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8DDDEotEmc"><i>Waiting for the Moon to Rise</i></a> (she loves Belle and Sebastian) while I was cautiously knocking on her door. The music stopped but the door did not open. I got the message. I walked away from her house with my gift for her 45th birthday. I smiled to myself pondering on the thought that has been playing on my mind the last few days. Perhaps, and I am more certain now, she had already received the gift that she's unknowingly longing for all her life. She is becoming herself. At last, she is becoming Greta.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</span></div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-5569371661070725952011-07-23T23:02:00.000-07:002011-07-26T05:59:17.052-07:00rain<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>i weaken at the sight of you</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>a sun surrendering heat to the scent of the moon</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and the world languorously drift in the gloaming</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>cloaked in shades of purples and blues</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>i become a trembling leaf in autumn air</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>lost in memories of old hymns you sing</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>in praise of the sea you weep</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>i am a latticework of water and emotions</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and in your cold fingers i surrender</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>drown me in sadness sweet</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br />
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<div style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">*pictures taken in my mother's garden</span></i></span></div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-650529203505569222011-06-25T10:09:00.000-07:002011-06-26T01:10:38.344-07:00uncomplicated<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNK8FfArSfFUafWzhtHkylNDPZNvBvu8mmHJrN1iWsqYeoCWia3iTZDed1J9Kqq9ssfpXrsqPWKNUuKn1wK4Xnfu1KvWPQkuJe7YX821z_5kzwNCgocGMomkgViGXWwNdDeoFwyCY4d0Jg/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="371" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNK8FfArSfFUafWzhtHkylNDPZNvBvu8mmHJrN1iWsqYeoCWia3iTZDed1J9Kqq9ssfpXrsqPWKNUuKn1wK4Xnfu1KvWPQkuJe7YX821z_5kzwNCgocGMomkgViGXWwNdDeoFwyCY4d0Jg/s400/images.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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i am a series of snap shots<br />
in black and white<br />
moving as drops of water move<br />
in straight line<br />
hastily<br />
unmindful of irony<br />
<br />
there is no betrayal in my eyes<br />
i kill time with my hands<br />
bareknuckled<br />
i am always the old me<br />
my poetry is my story<br />
<br />
you sleep to dream<br />
but i do not speak riddles<br />
you smell the roses<br />
and head to the river<br />
dragonflies?<br />
they are for dead flowers<br />
<br />
i know now why you left...<br />
i have no patience for deep words<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">,</span>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-22019208387518917522011-06-15T09:08:00.000-07:002011-07-27T07:32:38.361-07:00of fish and ferns: two (very) short stories<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvaOBsJzpBF-z-2wJBhaFG__vBXxTdaXEkPGrNhwsukZcoWxqgQL2aZuQ7HCC-p-q9yAzOuEZSdCfsZLVQkuB5wwrljffZ5Yh9i0Vdecb78upsQfCQVuug2xIlpFqToaYbgRtocEWzM9-C/s1600/2222.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvaOBsJzpBF-z-2wJBhaFG__vBXxTdaXEkPGrNhwsukZcoWxqgQL2aZuQ7HCC-p-q9yAzOuEZSdCfsZLVQkuB5wwrljffZ5Yh9i0Vdecb78upsQfCQVuug2xIlpFqToaYbgRtocEWzM9-C/s400/2222.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">The boy is oblivious to the muck that found its way on his legs. Dripping ink of black for every step - and he has done many, and in double time. The slippers are a size too big, his sister's, but he didn't have time or Mama would've changed her mind like she always does at a hint of delay. He holds on to her skirt, a purposeful little hand stays hidden in a fold of summery white. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">After what seems to be an eternity, for a young mind and short legs, of navigating through a steady stream of people and palpable stench the boy tenses up. Straight ahead is where they sell live fish. Catfishes to be exact. In trays of woven hemp they squirm, writhe and glisten. The boy's eyes well up with tears, ready to pour at the slightest sign of refusal. She sighs and runs a hand over the wrinkled spot on her skirt where her son's hand had been.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">The boy takes out the thread snuck from his mother's rickety sewing machine and has been keeping since the day he hatched his plan. He retrieves the cookie that he nicked from the cookie jar a week ago and goes out the back door to the garden where he had dug a hole. He places the jar that holds the catfish in cloudy water into the hole and proceeds to wind one end of the thread around the cookie. He looks around for a fallen tree limb where he could tie the other.</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFlPwjudXmqAtqGWRAe7lHghsnCwMxEFtgquPKfQdYRHxZjwkBpHxXXKgefsuJKlIQwQTHJ58chEoL3-piNU4-m1GbZMhWl2PYGzDBK-SNYEH1v1g2qztyPklMCS762Ej-kYWbp2YDoDEB/s1600/2332574_f520.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="83" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFlPwjudXmqAtqGWRAe7lHghsnCwMxEFtgquPKfQdYRHxZjwkBpHxXXKgefsuJKlIQwQTHJ58chEoL3-piNU4-m1GbZMhWl2PYGzDBK-SNYEH1v1g2qztyPklMCS762Ej-kYWbp2YDoDEB/s320/2332574_f520.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">It is quiet outside where I sit. Only the sound of passing cars from the main street breaks the silence every now and then. Even the leaves are dead to the soft breeze. I had placed my chair on my favourite spot on the porch...the right corner which is marked by an enormous hanging plant, mother's ferns. The tendrils of the plant form a forest of webs that filter the light from the lamppost beside the gate - creating a cascade of soft, tiny stars that rest on my face and the wall behind me. My head is rested against the wooden panel, a somber universe in the dark, and set down my cuppa on the chair's right arm. Still warm, the coffee. I inattentively flayed the peeling paint that chafed the back of my neck, rubbing the flakes between my fingers before letting them go. My fingers ran out of places to undress finally. All that is left are cold spots with dusty, grainy feel. Ahh my solitude is defined.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">I was in front of the computer the whole day. Waiting for you to go online. Surely you haven't forgotten. My heart sunk with the setting of the sun.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">The phone rings 30 past midnight but it's still yesterday in your part of the world. See, I even warp time for you. But I'll be deliberate and patient about the whole thing like I was in front of the computer. Twenty steps to get to the phone, 10 seconds to curb my anxiety, on the sixth ring... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"> <i> Can we talk? The last time, I promise.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><i><br />
</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><i> No. Let's not.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><i><br />
</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><i> I may as well have fire for breath.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">The phone goes dead after the fourth ring. The caller ID says it was not you who called. I look out the window at the glare from the lamppost. No ferns to soften the blow this time.</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy5QPLOB8mo81UTgB6wwksK6D2OKs-2l_JHD840qaZKmnI-NZZQZ-52UdqVLECcBRUu4tCHJWLTdMWTHoPdcnhL_TexeXf36ABB-DALnirtQDdkcOhc31703TkBnxc98eqRidmIz0PXthS/s1600/2332577_f520.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="83" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy5QPLOB8mo81UTgB6wwksK6D2OKs-2l_JHD840qaZKmnI-NZZQZ-52UdqVLECcBRUu4tCHJWLTdMWTHoPdcnhL_TexeXf36ABB-DALnirtQDdkcOhc31703TkBnxc98eqRidmIz0PXthS/s320/2332577_f520.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-68111651039740867532011-06-11T08:20:00.000-07:002011-06-11T08:20:44.468-07:00calculus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-thQc1UogTNyAAG98iNVDYYWZI-xu_XBXAtTxa4Prl2J6457SOOVz8c3IOQhKrXv2YQuPCcBAz_-oVEE3Ih3vSFdPExeIEVNVAEXN98QOV5Dnc9S6xg1iMEjp6x_WDq5G2AABz-_Rk9EI/s1600/2120088_f520.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-thQc1UogTNyAAG98iNVDYYWZI-xu_XBXAtTxa4Prl2J6457SOOVz8c3IOQhKrXv2YQuPCcBAz_-oVEE3Ih3vSFdPExeIEVNVAEXN98QOV5Dnc9S6xg1iMEjp6x_WDq5G2AABz-_Rk9EI/s400/2120088_f520.jpg" width="354" /></a></div><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">one, three and nine</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and all the others in between</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> are limits that converge</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> defining my axis </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and the burdens i keep</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">for they reflect time</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i lost or integral moments </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> that remain after a turn</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> 'round the ellipse</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">deliberate or by fate</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and six cannot separate</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">me from you inspite of yourself </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> for each line or curve you </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> draw traverses, cuts </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">through my finite space</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">so what now with these </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">plots, slopes and arrows straight?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> if a slight quake sets me to </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> spiral down like the </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">skin of the nautilus</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">or do i crest the heights of </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">my doom? there is no choice but</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> to find the point in knowing</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> that some things are</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">indeterminably certain</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">like the sound of lightning in mars</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-75773239384621714792011-06-09T09:20:00.000-07:002011-06-09T09:20:09.683-07:00the trouble with good things<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg9WUwoJlj2dWAgzePxpsdMGs-blWoCKz92jAurT8MzbY-y1OTkDrKPm-bJ6Aj6otsx0ebfiYr1fYdqesVlXmJYfB0EIh7yjHKgVRcSFu9GMzNPHghJUlpQspyKuqDkqb6AFfW-RchMIUI/s1600/underwater.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="326" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg9WUwoJlj2dWAgzePxpsdMGs-blWoCKz92jAurT8MzbY-y1OTkDrKPm-bJ6Aj6otsx0ebfiYr1fYdqesVlXmJYfB0EIh7yjHKgVRcSFu9GMzNPHghJUlpQspyKuqDkqb6AFfW-RchMIUI/s400/underwater.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">paint peels</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">doors close</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">curtains drop</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">houses decay</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">fruits rot</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">leaves fall</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">flowers wither</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">seasons change</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">skin sags</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">eyes dim</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">bones break</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">youth fades</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">kisses ebb</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">lust mellows</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">whispers drown</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">lovers forget</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">dreams die</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">memory wanes</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">passion subsides</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">inspiration departs</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">ink dissolves</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">pages yellow</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">books unbind</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">stories end</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-83400369744973944762011-05-17T08:57:00.000-07:002011-05-17T17:40:24.189-07:00the blue dress<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV4yLKisl_N7poPhIZxJgIhLwXAOfA5MXZo8ujrE1qTjjYXHBZn3eOxxTOKKa7i5f49-rs9uig5gi02HVKG4skgA7We0GoXWpAxKWiiV7L4qRh1RG1deodcwU7T2amWzlvQ1LIyKsHI3yh/s1600/blue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV4yLKisl_N7poPhIZxJgIhLwXAOfA5MXZo8ujrE1qTjjYXHBZn3eOxxTOKKa7i5f49-rs9uig5gi02HVKG4skgA7We0GoXWpAxKWiiV7L4qRh1RG1deodcwU7T2amWzlvQ1LIyKsHI3yh/s400/blue.jpg" width="365" /></a></div><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Twenty years of dust can make a grown </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">man cry I realize as I open Mother's </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">old chest. The dark interior hides the </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">sheen of the blue dress but I smell her </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">just the same. Mother.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tears are nothing, Mother, </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">but your scent is an eternity </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">of memory unfurling </span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>in the sea.</i> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I run my fingers through the silken blue</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">to feel how twenty years of dust </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">is a lifetime of trying to forget.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I let the dark fall on the dress again</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">for I know ghosts forgive easy when</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">there is no light. In the dark, the</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">blue and the dust do not make a sound.</span><br />
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</div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-58314775667293412302011-05-15T06:35:00.000-07:002011-05-15T07:39:03.934-07:00hot grande, five pumps irish cream, one brown sugar, cafe americano and an ashtray please<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi8DS4rcZ5Gy60z_fxY6bf1ERUqFivUGHvIbAFwmGF65Z7_ccw6BPITMIKXhdA6xnZMvUb6PYqFx5BDYRJWGr2BFFsBZAt_zmH61-do_J6YHoEuS6F_Xku1heRiXSoDqtnzi2iKcEeNduE/s1600/mmmm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="323" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi8DS4rcZ5Gy60z_fxY6bf1ERUqFivUGHvIbAFwmGF65Z7_ccw6BPITMIKXhdA6xnZMvUb6PYqFx5BDYRJWGr2BFFsBZAt_zmH61-do_J6YHoEuS6F_Xku1heRiXSoDqtnzi2iKcEeNduE/s400/mmmm.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">That would be my friend Win at the counter of Starbucks</span>. He had ordered mine first. And that would be soy latte. I'm a simple guy with simpler taste in coffee so he orders mine first every time, simple to complex. A natural progression. And besides, barristas are humans, too - his philosophy. But they do smell better. Aromatic would be the word. Oh but the ashtray would be for me. Win's quit smoking altogether, affects his tonsils or so he says. But even if he does go back to the habit, he could never outpuff me, not even in his heyday, as I have become a human chimney - it has taken me awhile but my lungs delivered. But I'm a friendly fire, I only smoke where it's allowed. And that's virtually everywhere. But not inside Starbucks. So you have to ask for an ashtray and smoke outside while you drown in your cuppa. Which I prefer anyway. Al fresco, one with the elements and noisy traffic. Incessant talk only heightens the atmosphere. Ahh nothing is more casual and laid-back.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">if looks could kill</span></i></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But nighttime in the same place is a different world and I'm a different cat. The world turns into a black and white dream. Yes, film noir-ish. Or -esque. No, -ish is correct. I become Liam Neeson in that first few sequences of Schindler's List. Brooding, mysterious, dangerous. I would work on that cig like I'm being filmed but unaware. Deliberate yet casual - slow like honey but heavy with mood. And if the air around me is steady, I would let out a smoke ring. And before it vanishes into thin air with your attention, I would produce another one to hold hands with the first. And another, and another. Until I form a chain of white menace that would charm out all the good things your momma taught you.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One thing about my smoking though is that I never smoke for the sake of smoking, it's always with intent. I smoke to determine if I have waited long enough. Five sticks and you're not there yet, I'm gone. Buh-bye. I also light one to imply that I'm done in bed...or the floor. Turn off the red light, the party's over, till the next craving. No amount of contortionistic persuasion could drag me away from a drag right after. I'm selfish like that, but I can share a puff. Okay two puffs. Cigarettes are also my major source of strength. Like when I'm up for a job interview or a blind date. Nicotine calms my nerves, clears my mind and blunts hunger pangs (it made survival possible in the workplace where lunch breaks were a privilege and not a right).</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">the seductress</span></i></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And now to my other love, a selfless mistress given the more considerable time I spend with my Marlboro Lights (lower tar, slower death). If only bringing a cup in the toilet on the throne would make an agreeable sight. But truth be told, my affair with the dark muse started way before I can even spell "M-I-N-O-R". As a kid, I'd have a cup with the adults on the table during breakfast. And black, too. You can say my relationship with coffee started early. And intense. No cream and therefore guiltless.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I generally love my cup blistery hot. Specially during stormy weather. News of a storm abrewing excites me so that even before the slightest hint of a change in the wind's direction is felt by my black lab, I had already conjured a vision of me, on the terrace, the holy grail clasped, within the whispery kisses of the falling rain. I know it's quite ironic, my feeding off of the warmth of a cup and yet exposing myself like that in the cold. But I'm incongruous like that. Like any artsy writer probably is. Otherwise I'd write news Or anything business.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But coffee is the antithesis to my smoking. If a stick unclogs my brain cells, the dark poison suffuses my thoughts with inspiration. Poring over a cup, the deep, mysterious, undulating or still liquid allows my mind to wander and introspect. Suddenly I'm swimming in metaphors and itching to pound on that keyboard and write poetry that would make you cry or feel like crying. Fine, I'm okay with "slightly affeced".</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">****</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As I've said, I'm pretty much a simple guy in many ways. Black coffee is fine by me. Soy latte? Better. But fancy Frappucinos?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> I'd have a slice of that dome cake if I want desert. </span></span></div><br />
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</div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-49440421544365630832011-04-15T07:25:00.000-07:002011-04-15T11:36:06.281-07:00poison<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-yNqyMMsOwki5M9xxxkOWDsAi0OtQipFPipr2qcRCKasM6YXPjNG6uBuhbdrOX1aRobL9mgMK_eumlqlM8_vXUt7YTVpeEGbxWvKD64yN-QRNrNnhcU891l_kpyOtGaFh_AJwTJMMFL0F/s1600/Monica-Bellucci-59.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-yNqyMMsOwki5M9xxxkOWDsAi0OtQipFPipr2qcRCKasM6YXPjNG6uBuhbdrOX1aRobL9mgMK_eumlqlM8_vXUt7YTVpeEGbxWvKD64yN-QRNrNnhcU891l_kpyOtGaFh_AJwTJMMFL0F/s400/Monica-Bellucci-59.jpg" width="390" /></a></div><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> <i>for Monie and her girls</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">in the dark you hold back</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">amidst the blinking lights</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">your eyes, covetous orbs</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">remain fixed on the prize</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><i> and the fever, getting higher</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i> desire, desire, desire, desire</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">the same quixotic limbo</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">different seductive night</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">your heart's a caged bird</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">your lips lust for the rain</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"> wanting, needing, waiting</span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i> for you to justify my love</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">stealing away from heaven</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">your angel finds your hell</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">hand against thigh, you feel</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">love of the dangerous kind </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"> the language of love slips from my lover's tongue </span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i> cooler than ice cream and warmer than the sun </i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">you take a sip off of the cup</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">the sweet brew is no stranger</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">its poisoned tongue slithers</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">down to your waiting heart</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"> one little warm death coming round</span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i> one little sweet death with me tonight</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">lover's gone the irony remains </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">after the heavens cried its last</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">you hunt for your favorite pill</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">life begins again after the kill</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><i> i've got you under my skin</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i> yes, i like you under my skin</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-style: italic;">**</span>lyrics from <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YACXyB2LSxs"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Desire</span></a> (U2), <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Np_Y740aReI"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Justify My Love</span></a> (Madonna), <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjNIVflVUQY"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Who's The Girl</span></a> (Eurythmics)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcRjfg_atHU"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">A Little Warm Deat</span>h</a></span> (Cassandra Wilson), <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1AHec7sfZ8"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">I've Got You Under My Skin</span></a> (Frank Sinatra)</span><br />
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</span>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-2801341045168070012011-04-11T08:39:00.000-07:002011-04-11T08:39:59.727-07:00the desert in us<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8O1VW9LzgWwPRG2vFhZV9GNVP5oPLapPF1S_zA2dQ3vzmZg36jkt-AKJZ7hU6tq-AMReoesZgcZGcP23GXJ34DpihA-oPUkmO9ArEuKEkWF7mLEH1u9zlKM3mxNUnbmUNAZcYYtBFeK4u/s1600/desert1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8O1VW9LzgWwPRG2vFhZV9GNVP5oPLapPF1S_zA2dQ3vzmZg36jkt-AKJZ7hU6tq-AMReoesZgcZGcP23GXJ34DpihA-oPUkmO9ArEuKEkWF7mLEH1u9zlKM3mxNUnbmUNAZcYYtBFeK4u/s400/desert1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>in the absence of rain</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and stillness of trees</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>the leaves long gone</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>wintering too soon</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK3u0-0Z1RXPNlLXShQC_bWXBIaX-qb8rnAqlNZdvBR8YV7q8D7A0CfdSbROvEVEZrut2geqL7bDfby83WuQrUXeaxFLNTsO2kHAUyTFASdE-6KZ0__lLyLJw_RCHYLEXeD9i4u2tTOP57/s1600/desert2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK3u0-0Z1RXPNlLXShQC_bWXBIaX-qb8rnAqlNZdvBR8YV7q8D7A0CfdSbROvEVEZrut2geqL7bDfby83WuQrUXeaxFLNTsO2kHAUyTFASdE-6KZ0__lLyLJw_RCHYLEXeD9i4u2tTOP57/s400/desert2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
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</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>hushed light on my skin</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>the unyielding sirocco</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>i ponder my retreat</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>conquered by a spec</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>of sand in my eye</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
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</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>seduced i descend into </i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>thirsting crevasses </i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>dark openings to </i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>endings and pour </i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>like night into day</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
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</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>the desert in us, hushed</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>as a stranger's glance</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>calm as a shadow</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>but a stranger still</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLDQhC_MdMH2Za_G7L6OF9qEFlm0SwZzRnK3ykbtZG6TiltTHE3ryRAwyiMxoQo9U_oxGwEdO58RQIo_Zz4b4L0pdDG03LSxEsZXfpRcL8tWiHlXw-kMoI7fSDgInr4lsUoHWT3YGxzeGi/s1600/desert5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLDQhC_MdMH2Za_G7L6OF9qEFlm0SwZzRnK3ykbtZG6TiltTHE3ryRAwyiMxoQo9U_oxGwEdO58RQIo_Zz4b4L0pdDG03LSxEsZXfpRcL8tWiHlXw-kMoI7fSDgInr4lsUoHWT3YGxzeGi/s400/desert5.jpg" width="400" /></a></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
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</i></span></div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-57467676755758853062011-03-25T18:17:00.000-07:002011-03-25T18:17:20.670-07:00bulalakaw<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYZY8uiDnt_YQU9NiuEFdlNVy2leahp17WTSNakxSiyafb8T0-N7lNmbMqifP5Rys1cMbHbcNAGmWP2jFE_ea7NIUVjhEcCa5YpIiYlYHCgcOSARt6Ceqgbvqc1yLZ1B-bOMmtWryTuucW/s1600/bamboo-tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYZY8uiDnt_YQU9NiuEFdlNVy2leahp17WTSNakxSiyafb8T0-N7lNmbMqifP5Rys1cMbHbcNAGmWP2jFE_ea7NIUVjhEcCa5YpIiYlYHCgcOSARt6Ceqgbvqc1yLZ1B-bOMmtWryTuucW/s400/bamboo-tree.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>isang gabing malamlam</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>habang nakatunghay sa </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>buwang lilisan patungo</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>sa huling araw nitong</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>ulilang buhay</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>nagulat, nagulumihanan</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>nagitla at napadausdos</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>sa bintana ng matanaw</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>sa di kalayuan sa lilim</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>ng mga ulap</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>isang liwanag na marikit,</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>umukit, gumuhit sa langit</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>animo ay kiming kidlat </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>munit bilis din ang ngalan</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>...di kaya't?</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>ang abang puso'y kumislot,</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>kumabog at kapagdaka ay</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>sa kaba nalunod. narito na </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>ang huling araw nitong </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>ulilang buhay</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-31796272856369863112011-03-20T22:00:00.000-07:002011-03-20T22:00:01.805-07:00i dream of peace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1b372cI6wSTohfXhV9Hm-tFNBP53BIe0NNJKMhRDYVXHfbT2XGh51Kx2l6Pl0ezpeXk7Ag2OpZPYXqjpXzYGXijfFNKbyTKBX9ZtLeS84912cOyp3chxDrkBVUYrE4prsuzt-ARXYiKO4/s1600/4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1b372cI6wSTohfXhV9Hm-tFNBP53BIe0NNJKMhRDYVXHfbT2XGh51Kx2l6Pl0ezpeXk7Ag2OpZPYXqjpXzYGXijfFNKbyTKBX9ZtLeS84912cOyp3chxDrkBVUYrE4prsuzt-ARXYiKO4/s400/4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> the afghan girl reinvented</span></span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i dream of peace. in that quiet place</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">between stupor and death. i dream of</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">poets writing odes that break down walls.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i dream of angels dying, demons praying.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i dream of melancholy ebbing when the </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">morning sun descends on the land that</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">divides. land caught in a sea of blood,</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">a forgotten lore from a million nights ago.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i dream of flowers in the fields dancing </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">to the music of change. change that must</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">be wielded like a sword or suffer the </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">unborn and those who have come to pass.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i dream of children dancing in the rain </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">falling from the heavens like the voice </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">of god collected and wasted in a prison </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">of greed. i dream of beauty in the ruins.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">beauty that gifts solace but not solitude</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">to ghosts chasing memories lost in the fire</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i dream of silence amidst war. i dream of</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">silence without war. i dream of white when</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i turn off the light at night. i dream of</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">dreaming of seeing my face in your eyes.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">i dream of peace. yes, i dream of peace.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
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</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7467566585345493440.post-33708421846303370902011-03-14T19:32:00.000-07:002011-11-07T21:29:51.828-08:00a soliloquy while undressing in the dark<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLF4eTF9Yd3RmGq8y7pC-GWqcBTqlD_afTNXMXKYyIknnhrz67QxRY9L286jXrH5ySS_kMhvaqh1xCDE49a1riXSooTxSu2rQh8AItI6QPmVhrsWDP3zNLAUwNWbElParvy4GyLQamRD5z/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLF4eTF9Yd3RmGq8y7pC-GWqcBTqlD_afTNXMXKYyIknnhrz67QxRY9L286jXrH5ySS_kMhvaqh1xCDE49a1riXSooTxSu2rQh8AItI6QPmVhrsWDP3zNLAUwNWbElParvy4GyLQamRD5z/s400/1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">I turn off the light, it gasps for breath momentarily and it's gone. I always leave the light on when I go out. To keep the demons at bay while I search for my own. My room has become a friend who has long accepted the fact that I don't want its company at times but still chooses to stay put. It's not always there but it's always there. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">I make the long and arduous trip from the door to my bed. Ahh the door. If you care enough to stop and pay homage to it, you can actually see the peeling white paint and the old wood beneath. Brown and decaying. But it is still a door that opens and closes for me just the same. And then there are the hinges, loose and creak-y. My mother comes to mind. But now, as I sit on my bed, my thoughts are suddenly far removed from creaking doors, old wood and my mother. I am on my bed, motionless...barely breathing I sit. Slouched, worn out, but still I sit. I sit because I can't and won't lie down. I still have one more thing to do. I need to undress.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQaZjaT6Xo4lBQIUG_Z4CpZAmRbtACv7kGksmQWkD9GkpFw7PaRMYnBqeP13Ym2D7EAFOI1tanpMPcDvZbKY6MRiQvOc43VHvq9USFObEFIagDqsECOYNAzy9wKCTXoftPZGLvVpwtB4Rg/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQaZjaT6Xo4lBQIUG_Z4CpZAmRbtACv7kGksmQWkD9GkpFw7PaRMYnBqeP13Ym2D7EAFOI1tanpMPcDvZbKY6MRiQvOc43VHvq9USFObEFIagDqsECOYNAzy9wKCTXoftPZGLvVpwtB4Rg/s400/2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">My shoes have to go first. I carefully unravel the shoelaces with gentle tugging and careful not to allow them to slip through the holes completely. I know what slipping through holes is like and I would not wish it even for the forlorn aglets. And I love my shoes. They have carried me off far and wide. And always back to this room no matter the distance covered nor the length of time spent away. So you must understand why it makes me slightly melancholic that I have to take my shoes off. But it must be done. Besides, I have done all the walking I could in a day. And my feet are yearning for air. Give us air they speak in that hushed tone only feet could make. They need to breathe. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">I peel off my socks. Still as white as the first time I wore them. Only now, a hole has found residence on the whiteness of one of them. But it does not bother me at all as only I know of that hole. Or of the other holes in my other socks. Nobody knows about them. I'm good at keeping secrets. And it's a good thing nobody asks of what they cannot see. And I have long realized that most of the time people are only concerned about your good side. Or what they could see. "The color fits you" they would say. My socks have holes. And nobody knows.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">My feet lay exposed in the blackness. Fretting and flexing. Like dogs waiting for a morsel for a trick well done. But I have no time for some thoughtless rubbing, not even for a touch. And my feet would eventually understand. They always do. They are not people. With my toes curled downward, I take off my jeans. </div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA5DhSJVDZZ5RK1NPJ85ov0rA8JTk1BAevbnPp1r5VCjdmDDULZDheIfkXaX8iwWJZ2YLpoR_KpGMHXAnm6avPbaAEJhJH-PC3KUochXTbCWCROF88zeDe5eZWoZ4cyIKRrlKATPmFQjrK/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA5DhSJVDZZ5RK1NPJ85ov0rA8JTk1BAevbnPp1r5VCjdmDDULZDheIfkXaX8iwWJZ2YLpoR_KpGMHXAnm6avPbaAEJhJH-PC3KUochXTbCWCROF88zeDe5eZWoZ4cyIKRrlKATPmFQjrK/s400/3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Faded but still blue, loose but feel snug, frayed but conceal like a smile. Ah my favorite pair. They have been with me for a long time. Seeing me through mindless meanderings - chasing after names and faces. And careless though it may sound, they have even become more reliable than my own skin as there was never a time that they have given me discomfort. If you are uncomfortable with your own skin, wear jeans. They afford you freedom that you could wear when the need arises.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">My shirt is yellow. And it's new. I remember being smitten by the color one hectic day at the mall. I have never been one for "happy colors" but out of all the reds, the blacks and the blues, this yellow shirt that I now wear like a hug seemed the most exquisite and all that I needed. And indeed, I feel the glow of the pale gold it has become in the gloaming that is my room. But now I have to turn off the light. The glow ebbs and the hug becomes impersonal. So I take it off and lay it beside where I believe I have lain the watch I scarcely look at because it makes me rush things. My hand touches a cold metal but it is not my watch but my bereaved ring which I still wear -- helpless and hopeless against the thought of a thought. I hold it close to my heart and I see the moon.</div><br />
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</div>Cris Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13376790551778016677noreply@blogger.com0