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hanging out

>> Thursday, November 11, 2010


excuse me.
 excuse me, but i only caught the last
word you said. the rest were just
high and low notes that mingled
with the smoke i thoughtlessly
exhale, ignored like the heady
scent of a pungent perfume.
i took a sip of the coffee with
a dreamy name for fear of
succumbing again into the
already familiar landscape that
we create. but the coffee, like
the cigarette, won't kick it for me.
i'm desperately hoping you'd
start singing of the apocalypse,
or pull out a knife and stab me
in the heart and maybe, just maybe,
i'd feel a rush, a gush, excitement
...anything. anything if only to
to feel something other than
this fear of feeling nothing.
but the world remains settled,
unstirred, machine-like in its
business of killing time. i dangerously
arched my back and waited for a
bone to break. nothing. i held my
breath instead and prayed for
something to snuff but still it would
not come. the thought that we'd  be
doing this forever doesn't make me
cry, or think of crying. i light up
another stick and emptied the cup
and i'm thinking what a wonderful life
this life is. this life we make. 
you and i.

.
.

5 comments:

Fun and Fearless November 11, 2010 at 11:53 PM  

I hate the feeling of feeling nothing. Actually I'm scared of it. Was it sarcasm at the end of the verse? ^_^ Oh I forgot you don't like to explain. Haha!

I miss your blog! And I like the new look! When was it changed? I (apparently) have been away for a while. I'm sorry. Wait. Please, Cris. Tell me how to make the Blogumus work. I never made it work on my blog. Thanks.

Cris A November 12, 2010 at 3:36 AM  

And you've been missed around here! Yes, that was meant to be snarky. But what is sarcasm when you're bored, or numb, or both?! Haha

Last week I think. Was going for a zen-like vibe but I'm on the verge of a widget-avalanche! Haha I don't remember where I got the tutorial from, ie blogumus. But if you do CSS and HTML you can try checking this: http://blogumus.blogspot.com/

Btw, kindly share the link to your blog site. Thanks. :D

Anonymous,  November 15, 2010 at 8:35 AM  

if you ask me, this is like 3 am in Inno, smoking area or near the entrance gate, no urge to eat breakfast yet. just need to do something else than stare at the stupid monitor or wet the little pillow with my saliva lol Swani

Fun and Fearless November 17, 2010 at 2:08 AM  

Thanks for the link, Cris! I don't know what's wrong with my blog (or me) but I still can't make it work. Really. Now I'm racking my brains with stuff on hosting and HTML. Oh I so envy your site - both for the poems and the Blogumus. T_T

Cris A November 18, 2010 at 2:29 AM  

Too bad. I just did what was required by a link similar to what I posted above. But if you have a geeky friend maybe...haha

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