happiness

where have you been,

happiness? under

my bed all these years?

'neath leaves

gathered at my feet

in the many autumns 

i breathed? did you not,

pray tell, look for me?

or my smile, or the shadow

of my face in the 

dark space beyond 

the light?

oh happiness! oh happiness!

why are we strangers

still? i searched for

you in poetry, in funeral

flowers - purple and white -

while by the rocky shore

on slow-fading nights

perhaps i'm too glum even

tragic despite the light

in my eyes and the laughter

that comes easy as day

but still i'll hunt you down

conquer and devour your

liquid warmth until

i cry out all the salty,

gray, musty sad in me

are you happy now?